Adam Grant had written a marvelous piece on the topic give and take. He discussed the things which make people highly successful. He counted opportunity, ability and motivation with the combination of luck, hard work and talent to be a key for success in life. He also pointed to one very critical thing, neglected quite often. Which is the approach of our interaction with people. In fact, with every interaction we make, we try to calculate the amount of give-and-take out of that.
Our lives are always in a state of giving or taking. It is like a bucket of different things. Sometimes we give from it and sometimes we try to take on the average of this, but it is partially filled or empty. We can divide different people into three categories:
All of us belongs to one of them. Being belong to givers proves us to be most successful among all of them. Here in our college, students are given opportunities to take different kind of skills. They can also give them back to get perfection in respective skills. This will be give-and-take on their ends.
Let’s discuss these three categories, one by one:
Adam defines takers as the ones who will always try to have more than they give. They always try to have reciprocity for their favor, always giving priority to their interests without being careful about the needs of others. They imagine their world as competitive. They always struggle to succeed and try to promote themselves making sure that they get more credit for the efforts they have done. We cannot see them to be cruel or cut throats for others. They are only self-protective and cautious.
In our today’s workplace, it is very rare to find a breed of givers. They always tr to give more than what they are getting. They mostly focus on other people to pay more attention to the services they need from them. You cannot distinguish between giver and taker by the charity work. One can make a difference in the attitude they have.
In the case of givers, they will never stop to help others, even if the benefit-cost of helping others increases from their personal cost. They are simply very generous to share their time, skills, knowledge, ideas, connections, and energy with all other people. Only you have to focus on the interests of other peoples.
In between lies the third category. They are very anxious to harm takers and give that benefit to givers. They believe in “an eye for an eye”. And this very saying motivates them to take from takers and then reward givers. So, most people belong to this category, which always benefits the givers.
Sometimes it is possible for taker being possessing some unique skills to succeed for a moment. The success of takers is mostly quick and on the other hand, they also fall quickly.
The people who are givers shall also have to be more thoughtful and selective when they are giving. If they are sacrificing by saying yes to all, they will fail. So givers should have priorities to help only givers and matchers, excluding takers. The help should also be determined to make others beneficial at the accurate time. Successful givers will always make difference to lives of others by improving them to great extent.
As a student, our ambitions should be motivating us to become one of the givers. Being a giver, we can further spread out skills and knowledge which will improve the lifestyles of many. While doing so, we should be careful about the takers that they should also be giving away what they are taking from us.